Gail Watches Agents of SHIELD | S01E01 -- "Pilot"

Captain America has well and truly fucked me up.

I saw Frozen

I saw Frozen this past weekend and I am self-identifying with Elsa a whole bunch. It's probably best if I go in order to get this giant bunch of word vomit out.

Ramblings

UF wants to know more about what I did after high school... I flunked out of college, I looked for a job that I never found, I got diagnosed... How can I explain these things to them without sounding stupider than I usually do?

I'm to the point where I hate my life

A few weeks ago, I went to a temp agency thinking they could help and it went... sorta okay? I mean, I started bawling about fifteen minutes into it, but I was coherent for the entire thing. I was supposed to call once a week for a check-up to see if they had any openings for me. I forgot to call and now I know I need to call, but I don't want them to notice I didn't call at all before.

Why is this so difficult? It didn't used to be this way, but, except for Friday nights, I am a complete recluse. Ellie still hasn't gotten back to me with my transfer info for VR. I know I need help, but I don't know where to get it.

I'm doing kinda okay talking to people... I told myself a few months ago that I needed to be commenting more often on MDS and Spoils and I have, but that's online! I need to talk to real people and to someone, somewhere, that has a job opening.

I had planned to go to a city-wide hiring thing the local McDonald's was doing today, but I had a panic attack.

And I'm rereading this and I keep making so many excuses in my writing... It shouldn't be like this, but I don't see any chance to change any of it.

Idea? No.

Sometimes I just don't like being so nice.

I had the idea of doing an editing service people could pay for, but as soon as I thought of it, I remembered sanityscraps is doing the same thing and she needs the money more than I do.

I could do it, but also, I want her to succeed. I don't know. I need to be more assertive.

R.I.P. Sugar Heart of Equestria

Sugar Heart has died in a blaze of glory, saving the world from the undead hordes.

Rant #whatever

So I'm actually trying with the networking thing for th job hunt. Y'know what everyone is saying? McDonald's, McDonald's, McDonald's. I know that. I've tried. "Have you tried lowering your standards?" Yes, I've tried. My standards are currently this: PAYCHECK.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I know I need mental help, but that is currently out of my price range. Almost everything is out of my price range. All I want to be able to do is freakin decide to get a burger without crawling to Dad for money.

I just... help?