Rereading Physics of the Spin again. It encapsulates everything I try to make Ma understand.
Yes, I stay up late frequently. Yes, I probably won't get the dishes done soon cause Batman is fighting Man-Bat and I need to see what will happen even though I have seen this episode multiple times...
I have to understand things. The 'stupid fanfic' you keep dismissing is not stupid at all. I'm reading Sherlock kidfic right now? On AO3 alone there are over 50. 90% of it is crap but that leaves 5 really good ones. That doesn't even count ffn. 50 fanfics all on one subject and more is being created every day.
I need the stories. I just wish you could understand that.
Showing posts with label Gilmore Girls. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gilmore Girls. Show all posts
Friday, January 27, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
To know a thing
Sorry about not writing anything these past couple months. My laptop decided that I would BSOD and not start up again. It's been fixed now.
To know a thing is to have power over it, right? Drew was talking with Mama Lynn a couple weeks ago and she was saying that a reason why I ain't been having much luck job hunting is because I might fit the profile for Asperger's Syndrome.
I'm reading about it online and I am definitely seeing me in some of the info. Wikipedia talks about how affectees approximate social norms in a laboratory context. That is what I did for a long while. It didn't always turn out well, but I definitely tried. And crashed and burned, but tried.
I remember all the time I just got so overwhelmed and pissed off at everyone in class and reading about High Functioning Autism (very similar to AS, possibly the same thing) and realizing that the 'everyone just shut up' moments happened when I was probably being overstimulated. I calmed down when I got out of the classroom and into the quiet hallway.
I'm reading so much about these things that I am getting angry and sad. I see that I exhibited so many symptoms and I can't believe no one noticed.
Even at Villas, where I had the testing and had my IEP, they didn't notice. I FREAKING USED THE PROPER TERMINOLOGY FOR PARTS OF A LIGHTBULB! How many five-year-olds do you know what a filament is and the past materials used to make it?
The good news is that as soon as I can get a proper dignosis (and not just me reading Wikipedia) I can get help... If there is any. I see so much on the web about 'dealing with your autistic child' and barely any about adult HFA and AS. The only good page I found was on about.com and we all know how reliable they are in these matters.
It makes more sense why my favorite tv characters and fanfics deal with not-exactly-neurotypical characters. Sheldon, Amy, Sherlock, Bones, Rory in that one fanfic; they all exhibit atpyical responses but I could empathize with them completely.
Hell, Bones' constant 'I don't understand' in S1 makes even more sense, now that I know what to look for.
I just have to find a Psychologist that the family can afford. That a whole different ball game.
To know a thing is to have power over it, right? Drew was talking with Mama Lynn a couple weeks ago and she was saying that a reason why I ain't been having much luck job hunting is because I might fit the profile for Asperger's Syndrome.
I'm reading about it online and I am definitely seeing me in some of the info. Wikipedia talks about how affectees approximate social norms in a laboratory context. That is what I did for a long while. It didn't always turn out well, but I definitely tried. And crashed and burned, but tried.
I remember all the time I just got so overwhelmed and pissed off at everyone in class and reading about High Functioning Autism (very similar to AS, possibly the same thing) and realizing that the 'everyone just shut up' moments happened when I was probably being overstimulated. I calmed down when I got out of the classroom and into the quiet hallway.
I'm reading so much about these things that I am getting angry and sad. I see that I exhibited so many symptoms and I can't believe no one noticed.
Even at Villas, where I had the testing and had my IEP, they didn't notice. I FREAKING USED THE PROPER TERMINOLOGY FOR PARTS OF A LIGHTBULB! How many five-year-olds do you know what a filament is and the past materials used to make it?
The good news is that as soon as I can get a proper dignosis (and not just me reading Wikipedia) I can get help... If there is any. I see so much on the web about 'dealing with your autistic child' and barely any about adult HFA and AS. The only good page I found was on about.com and we all know how reliable they are in these matters.
It makes more sense why my favorite tv characters and fanfics deal with not-exactly-neurotypical characters. Sheldon, Amy, Sherlock, Bones, Rory in that one fanfic; they all exhibit atpyical responses but I could empathize with them completely.
Hell, Bones' constant 'I don't understand' in S1 makes even more sense, now that I know what to look for.
I just have to find a Psychologist that the family can afford. That a whole different ball game.
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